is not dead which can eternal lie,
To celebrate the release of the original Squishy Brain edition of Pokéthulhu, we held a thulhu “design” contest via the ‘net (due to licensing restrictions, all designs had to be adaptations from the television show or films). The outpouring of ridiculous evil was enough to bring tears to the eyes, and everybody got into the spirit of things, adapting creatures from their favorite episodes. The three winners were chosen by peer vote, with a perfect tie for first place broken by Pokéthulhu art-wizard John Kovalic. Once the second edition was released, we opened up the submission-gates again, and most of the adaptations in the Third Edition (every one fully authorized and guaranteed evil) are from the fans.
There are hundreds of species still in dire need of statistics that only you, the dedicated, hardcore, seven-sessions-a-week (ten when there's a holiday) Pokéthulhu gamer can provide. All you need to join the ranks is a warped sense of humor, a working knowledge of Pokéthulhu canon based on far too many hours in front of the TV set, and the courage to send your evil creation to us via email! Every entry will be considered. We have no shame. I mean, really. Read the legal mumbo-jumbo before sending any submissions, please!
The Pokénomicon excerpts are taken from the relatively modern New International Pokénomicon (NIP), and specifically the 1981 “NIP Study Grimoire” made available at the world convention for the study of cuddly evil. The entries refer to episodes from the first four seasons of the show (1999-2002). This kind of contradiction is the sort of thing we just learn to cope with around here.
Power: 8 Speed: 6 Hit Points: 6
Aspects: Squamous, Luminescent
Injure: 3 dice (Lightning Tongue, Luminescent)
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Rosie Bierce confronted Randy and friends with Blhastur in Episode #060: Saturday Night's All Right For Frightening. Team Eibon showed up with Blhastur for the great New Sunnich Pokéthulhu Tournament in Episode #085: Never Say ------ Again. But it wasn't until Episode #119: The King Is Yellow that a wild Blhastur was shown on the Bal-Soggoth in Carcosa Bay. Blhastur is a nasty-tempered lightning-spitting tortoise pokéthulhu and, like Hastursaur, they become enraged by the sound of their name when said by anyone else.
Injure: 2 dice (Swallow Victim,
Pokénomicon Excerpt: In Episode #72: Dig This! Randy and his pals meet up with a whole pack of these pale, slithering burrowers, who come up under their camp at night and eat practically everything in sight! A nest of worm-like Dholets (and you never find just one!) can make Swiss cheese out of any area of ground in a matter of minutes. Because they can dive underground to hide they are darn hard to catch, even for an experienced thulhu wrangler! They can also spit gooey slime a dozen yards, making an awful, sticky mess of any thulhu who happens to be on the receiving end and leaving it vulnerable to be gobbled up in one gulp.
Injure: 3 dice (Tentacle
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Dreaming Guardians are huge, bloated fleshy masses with roughly half a dozen tentacles spread over their bodies and a similar number of eyes on the top of their shapeless heads. As their name implies, they can sleep in one place for years, but even while sleeping they retain a minimal consciousness which allows them to interact with (read: fight) their environment. It is said that the right kind of music can awaken them for a short time.. but what fool would perform such an act?
A Dreaming Guardian was the feature Pokethulhu of Episode #47: Where None May Tread. Having somehow grown much larger than usual, the Guardian had engulfed a small town, trapping Cindy, the famous Pokethulhu master. Randy and his friends came to the rescue, befriending a strange hermit who awakened the Guardian with a Spiral Flute. It fled into the shadowy night, carrying the screaming hermit with it, and the town was freed.
Maki (First Runner-Up)
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Drek Maki is the proper name for the dreaded Ichor Roll. A plate of Drek Maki appeared at the sushi bar in Episode #71: Miso Horny, but these pokethulhus were not mentioned by name until they helped to clobber the Kim'chigo two episodes later. Drek Maki are raw fighters, relying less on skill than on their natural strength. Many frustrated trainers have been forced to give up and ask for kelp with these thulhus. Although easily roused, Drek Maki are just as easily pacified with green tea and a slice of pickled ginger.
Injure: 3 dice (Blazing Sting of Ouchies,
Pokénomicon Excerpt: These insectoid pokéthulhu were featured in Episode #233: The Burrowers Beneath Your Butt. Young Whateley tried to use Dzyant to undermine Muskratonic University after they revoked his library privileges. Randy Carter tricked Team Eibon into using Nine-Tentacled Ftaghn against Dzyant while they talked to the principal and had Young Whateley's library fines retracted. Young Whateley and Dzyant also appeared briefly in Episode #341: Chattanooga Tcho Tcho.
Injure: 2 dice (Fish Slap, Fishy)
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Strange catfish/frog-like pokéthulhu that inhabit the haunted bays and inlets near Cape Dagon. Randy Carter first encountered Eldrip in Episode #142: The Deep Once in the hands of Obie Marsh, resident pokéthulhu master of the area who challenged him to a duel for possession of Pikathulhu. Obie lost and Randy took Eldrip, but traded him to Team Eibon to get back the library card they had stolen from him. No one likes to hang on to these undead fish-things for long. And who can blame them?
Injure: 3 dice (Drop Dead Stare, Decomposing)
Pokénomicon Excerpt: In the wild, these pokéthulhu are found roaming ancient cemeteries and the back-issue boxes of comic shops. Randy Carter ran afoul of Hounder in Episode #305: Shaggai and Skoobai when he tried to stop his new friends from stealing Shining Dodecahedrons from the recently deceased. Hounder is a ghostly skeletal amalgamation wrapped in dead bats, who can fly with the aid of bat wings stapled to his canine head.
Injure: 3 dice (Brain-Freeze, Icy)
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Kadath
are very rare pokéthulhu that inhabit the cold wastes of remote
Antarctica. They are valued highly because of their unusual natures and
cute penguin antics. Randy Carter located Kadath in the cold waste that
bears their name in Episode #111: The Ice-Dream Man so that he could
trade the rare pokéthulhu for a cure to a rare form of narcolepsy
that Pikathulhu developed.
Injure: 2 dice (Gaping Nameless
Pokénomicon Excerpt: The mysterious Lllidorino seem to be extra-temporal pseudo-draconian nether-beings -- but, on any close examination, they display features utterly unlike that of any ordinary extra-temporal pseudo-draconian nether-beings. They inhabit both the dark future and the dim mists of the past; their unfathomable intelligences (utterly unlike any other unfathomable intelligences) conspire to unknown ends.
Randy Carter ran into the Lllidorino when Team Ebion attempted to use them to in an ophidiomantic ritual to temporarily transform all of the pokethulhu into serpentine monstrosities (as seen in Episode #94: In The Future Everyone Will Be Squamous For Fifteen Minutes). Fortunately, little Pikathulhu broke free from the sunken city of gyrating stone that Ftaghn had lured him to, just in time to help Randy foil the evil plan!
Lllidorino are dangerous and difficult to summon, and nobody has ever managed to capture one. Team Ebion used a combination of ultraterrestrial sorcery and a chocolate milkshake to invoke them, and even then, it seemed that the eerie entities (utterly unlike any other eerie entities) were more than willing to be conjured. Maybe the just really liked the milkshake. Who knows?
Injure: 1 dice (Icy Winds, Icy)
Injure: 2 dice (Foul Wind,
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Randy Carter met and immediately took a strong disliking to one of these playful walking fungi in Episode #64: The Yutz from Yukky. And no wonder! Once Mr. Mi-Go takes notice of you he becomes an endless annoyance, creating non-Euclidian "invisible boxes" and summoning a foul wind against which the victim must struggle to walk, despite the fact that no one else can feel (or smell) the mildest breeze. No wonder Randy spent most of the episode trying to get rid of him! Fortunately for Our Hero, Mr. Mi-Go decided he was fonder of Randy's mother. She puts up with his mischief, renting out the pink, mushroom-like thulhu (whose head glows brightly in eerie, constantly-changing colors) to a local disco as mood lighting.
Injure: 2 (Lick the Unknown,
Pokénomicon Excerpt: This is a Nyarlathopy in the form with three tongues that licks the unknown. Randy first encountered one in Episode #67: The Black Tournament, but that Nyarlathopy was in a different form. Nyarlathopies likes to change form every day, becoming something new, different, and exciting. In Episode #112: Marcus Mucus a Nyarlathopy's three toungues held a rope bridge together for Randy as rushed to get to the Professor in time to save Yuggy! Later Randy realized that the Professor's pet Pokethulhu was in fact a Nyarlathopy in the form of the Black Manta, and the Nyarlathopies had helped him because he was so nice to the Professor's pet.
Injure: 3 dice (Tight Squeeze, Sticky)
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Randy
Carter first encountered these sticky, five-tentacled pokéthulhu
in his first trip to the Antarctic, Episode #111: The Ice-Dream Man.
Randy and Sonia barely managed to sneak past five of them in his search
for Kadath. Team Eibon wasn't so lucky and ran afoul of the thulhus when
they tried to ambush Randy and steal Kadath. They later appeared in Episode
#167: Return of the Beach Boys when little Obie Marsh ambushed Sonia
and challenged her to a duel.
Injure: 2 dice (Dissolving
Slimy Grasp, Sticky)
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Randy Carter first encountered Shub-Poliwrath while relaxing at a cult gathering in Episode #113, The Infinite Goat. The night culminated with the cult summoning Shub-Poliwrath, Goat of a Thousand Slimes, evolved form of Shub-Poliwhirl, only to be drawn into its chest swirl and flung into another dimension. Had Randy not been trying to keep his Pikathuhu from eating his bicycle, he would have been sucked in, too! When Team Eibon arrived and tried to capture it with their Nine-Tentacled Ftaghn, Shub-Poliwrath showed Team Eibon a little bit of what infinity is like by using its chest, driving them temporarily insane and causing them to flee quite rapidly indeed. Randy tried to befriend it, but it simply ignored him and went for a swim in the Atlantic Ocean. Randy hasn't seen it since.
Injure: 2 dice (Hungry-Tongue Grab and
Pokénomicon Excerpt: The
strange dog-like pokéthulhu that accompanies Randy Carter's friend
Norville "Shaggai" Rogers is always hungry. Shaggai is forced
to offer it a specially formulated Skoobai-Snack just to get it to attack
another pokéthulhu. In Episode #305: Shaggai and Skoobai
the duo were stealing Shining Dodecahedrons from the recently deceased
when they ran afoul of Hounder. Randy and Shaggai had to team up to defeat
the wild pokéthulhu after Skoobai-Thulhu was captured. The duo returned
with a group of other cultists trying to locate some ghostly thulhus in
Episode #333: The Mystery Machine.
Notes: A friend of Randy Carter. He's old enough to wear a goatee and carries a pocketful of Skoobai-Snacks to feed both himself and his favorite pokéthulhu. He's is just as appetite driven as the Skoobai-Thulhu he uses.
Sy'Thuradyos (Second Runner-Up)
Injure: 3 dice (Soul Shredding
Pokenomicon Excerpt: Sy'Thuradyae (the plural form) are peaceful and quiet pokethulhu in their natural habitat, being either a cold and watery cavern or a well lit shopping mall. The latter lair possesses many things not typically associated with these giant ghostly eels, but they are quite willing to put up with the buzzing of fluorescent lighting if there are a variety of fine coffees available. Generally quite harmless, as was seen early in Episode #317: Fire, Death and Seafood, when Randy Carter and his Pikathulhu stopped to read a map by the haunting green glow that emanated from the hollow eye sockets of one of these spectral behemoths, drawn by curiosity to his sparkly belt buckle. Team Eibon, however, was quick to dicover that the spacetime distorting abilities of some Non-Eucilidean Thulhu are incredibly irritating to a Sy'Thurados, leading to the unscheduled demolition of much of downtown Hemlock City by two of the creatures driven into a furious rage by their trained Y'T'T.
Ulthar (Example Provided
to Contest Participants)
Injure: 1 dice (Brain-Sucking
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Ulthar are playful, self-centered pokéthulhu from somewhere in the shadowy parts of the moon. Randy Carter first encountered them in Episode #104: More Like the Father, when Team Eibon's mascot, Nine-Tentacled Ftaghn, was trounced by one that had taken a shine to Sonia! Randy wasn't able to capture Ulthar, but met over two hundred of them on the moon later that season, enlisting their aid to help him capture a wild Three-Lobed Burning Eye in time for the big tournament in Silver Key Cove! Ulthar are very social, and like to gather in large numbers to groom, drift through the air in slow motion, and stare placidly at anyone passing by.
Injure: 4 dice (Biting Hands,
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Randy learns that reading isn't always fun-damental in Episode #108: Oops, Wrong Book! when he borrows something from a famous Pokéthulologist's library only to find he's accidentally read a passage from the Revelations of Glaky the Wacky! Before you know it, here comes trouble from behind a crumbling brick wall in the form of a massive Y'gollywog, the headless, glowing thulhu whose mother never taught him not to eat with his hands (which come equipped with maws full of razor-sharp teeth)!
Injure: 2 dice (Furnace,
Pokénomicon Excerpt: Perhaps the creepiest highlight of Season Two's "Someone Is Wearing My Sister" trilogy, the Yith-Disc is one of the oldest known 'thulhu (though, as Team Eibon's unforgettable "underwear battle" demonstrated, hardly the brightest). Its lower half is a proto-luminescent furnace that burns the souls of those foolish enough (or slow enough) to look into its accursed eye, which it keeps shut when docile. According to the rantings of Village Elder Longwaite, any who stare deeply enough into the accursed eye might be consumed from "from the soul-side out," and become a Yith-Disc themselves ...
The Pokéthulhu Adventure Game is Copyright © 2000, 2001 John Kovalic (artwork), Phil Reed (text of appendix) and S. John Ross (all other text). The Pokénomicon entries on this webpage are Copyright © 2001-2008 by Cumberland Games & Diversions. "Pokéthulhu Adventure Game" and "Pokéthulhu" are Trademarks of Phil Reed and Russell Godwin. Drek Maki illustration Copyright ©2001 by P.D. Magnus. Ulthar and Pikathulhu illustrations are Copyright ©2001,2001 by John Kovalic. All other graphics are Copyright ©2001-2008 by Cumberland Games & Diversions. Whew!